October Horoscopes by Patrick Spring

Aries

March 21-April 19

A sneak hug is coming your way.

Taurus
April 20 -May 20

You will eat lunch with Patrick Spring this week. What’s for lunch? White bread and mayonnaise.

Gemini
May 21 -June 20

You will find true love in the next week. You will realize someone you put aside the past few weeks has grown on you. That someone is Andrew Cornio.

Cancer
June 21 -July 22

Sleep with one eye open. Or two.

Leo
July 23 -August 22

Your boyfriend or a random man/women will ask you out this week for a romantic date at the diner. They will lure you there under the guise of swiping for you, but will have conveniently realize that they have misplaced their swipe when it is too late.

Virgo
August 23 -September 22

I wouldn’t drink dairy this weekend, I have a feeling you’re going to be pretty intolerant.

Libra
September 23 -October 22

I have a strange feeling that you have a test this week. You don’t need to study. You’re going to fail either way.

Scorpio
October 23 -November 21

Don’t eat the value meal at the Diner tomorrow.

Sagittarius
November 22 -December 21

There is a lot of anger in your brain. Douse it with cool, flavoursome, non-alcoholic beer.

Capricorn
December 22 -January 19
You’re the college park cuddlier. I’m calling the cops. And my mom.

Aquarius
January 20 -February 18

You will eat lunch this week.

Pisces

February 19 -March 2

Someone is noticing you. Not in a creepy way or anything like hiding under your bed or following you around like a stalker…

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Horoscopes. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s